Sexy Pumpkin Pussy

 

My Sexy Perverts, ™  I have a question for all of you.  Have you ever been so desperately horny that you thought that you would be willing to fuck just about anything?  Or have you ever seen a pumpkin so pretty that you wished it had a pussy?  Well, today I have just the solution for you.  I will teach you how to make your own DIY girlfriend with her own sexy pumpkin pussy.

Okay!  Let’s get started creating your very own pumpkin girlfriend!   

 

 

Step One

 

Select the sexiest pumpkin in the patch and take her home.  Take a moment to admire her beauty, get to know her a bit, and maybe give her a name.  She’s going to make an excellent sexy pumpkin pussy for you.  Great job!    

Next, cut a hole at the top.  This hole will not be her pussy so make it a big one.  You’ll use it to scoop out some of her soft, wet insides.  But not all of it – you’ll see why this is important later.  

 

Step Two

 

You’ve done well so far.  Now it’s time for a break from carving.   You need to get your dick nice and hard for this next part.  Having trouble?  Go watch some pumpkin porn or even better, call me.  I can have you all set for the next step in no time!

Now that you have a nice hard-on for your orange lady, it’s time to measure the circumference of your cock.  Go ahead.  I won’t watch you.  Alright, yes I will.  But you know you want me to take a peek and judge your dick size.  You know you do!

Measure your girth carefully with a tape measure. Accuracy is important here – this may be the only chance you have to enjoy a custom-sized vagina.  Don’t worry too much about the length.  This is the one girlfriend you will have who enjoys all penises from the shortest to the longest.

  

 

Step Three

 

Once you know your special measurement, draw a template of the same size on a piece of paper. Then cut it out and tape it to your gourd-gal in the location that appeals to you the most.  This will be the location of her sexy pumpkin pussy.  

Then, carve a hole the size of your penis girth template.  Let’s call it her frightening fuck-hole, her creepy cunt, or her macabre muff in keeping with the Halloween spirit.  

 

Step Four

 

Your pumpkin partner is almost ready for you.  But be a gentleman and talk to her a bit.  Let her know that you think she is beautiful and that you respect her.  You’re about to be rawdogging that gorgeous gourd, so be nice to her.  She deserves it.  

Finally… it’s time!  Slowly and sensually slide your hopefully still hard member into her perfectly sized hole.  And then just enjoy the fuck out of it.  Do whatever you want.  She’ll love it.  I promise. She’s just a pumpkin with a hole in it, after all.

But doesn’t it just feel amazing?  All squishy and made just for you, by you.  

 

Sexy Pumpkin Pussy – Some Do’s and Dont’s

 

You may be wondering, “what else do I need to know about my new pumpkin partner?”  I’m glad you asked!  DO enjoy her in the privacy of your own home.  And lock the door.  You are not the kind of guy who can recover from being walked in on balls deep in a pumpkin by your roommate.  DO dispose of your sexy pumpkin pussy properly when you are done with her.  She served you well and she deserves better than rotting on your porch until Christmas.  I bet you can even compost her!

Do Not put a lighted candle in your orange lady-friend.  While I appreciate your desire for ambiance and to romance her, a flameless candle or a small flashlight might be a better option. Emergency rooms can be crowded around Halloween and you don’t want to have to explain your charred pumpkin-covered junk in front of a waiting room full of people.

And above all, do not steal your pumpkin from a neighbor.  You don’t want to turn a harmless kink into a misdemeanor.   

 

What Else Can You Do?

 

You may be thinking,  “my pumpkin girlfriend is awesome and all but she’s not going to be around for very long.  So, what else can I do?”

Great question!  How about taking all that pumpkin goo that you scooped out of your sexy pumpkin pussy and making yourself a Halloween Fleshlight?  You can put the goo and seeds in a bag and then into a tube-shaped container with the end hanging out.  Secure the end of the bag to the container with a rubber band and begin pumping away.  This simple project should make for a hot, unique, if not somewhat lumpy masturbation experience.  

 

 

Well, my Sexy Perverts… What do you think?  Are you going to try and make your own orange girlfriend with a sexy pumpkin pussy?  How about the Halloween-themed Sex Toy?  Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.  

And be sure to read about being cuckolded in public, by a lesbian. I know you’ll love it!   Just head over to Cuckolded in Public – By a Lesbian!  Part 1.  And be sure to read all 4 parts.